A Poor Judge of Character

I am a poor judge of character. Some of the people I thought were friendly and kind have turned out to be cold and callous. And others I thought were hostile have turned up to be excellent friends.

I have discovered that I often create the wrong image about people; images that are more a product of my own bias than anything else. This has proven to be a costly error on many occassions.

Hence, I have tried to refrain from forming hasty opinions about people. And I have learnt a couple of lessons while at it.

First of all, I have come to understand that people’s actions do not neccessarily reflect their true character. In other words, circumstances may arise that will make a person act contrary to their normal deportment.

Even in cases where the person exhibits a deplorable trait, there’s usually a backstory that explains their behaviour. For example, they might have had a terrible experience in their past.

Granted, it is not always apparent what a person has been through, yet we know how past experiences can shape habit. I find it reformative to consider this general fact when someone acts in a reprehensible manner.

By no means am I justifying bad conduct. On the contrary, I believe every individual is under the obligation to investigate and improve their behaviour.

Secondly, being less judgemental of other people’s character has helped me to cognise myself better. I have become more aware of my own character flaws, and have taken the initiative to work on them.

I have learnt some virtues in the process as well; virtues like patience, humility and forgiveness. This has improved, not only my interaction with other people, but also my perspective on life in general.

When times get hard, I don’t fidget and throw my arms up in frustration, for I know that life happens in phases. Now, I am more careful to make the right decisions when caught in tough situations.

It is a similar feeling when I deal with a disagreeable person. I do not put any tag on them. Instead I collect my senses and try to analyse matters from their perspective. Then I can make necessary decisions from there.

I now have a better understanding of people’s behaviour; though I still am not an astute judge of character. All in all, I have become a little more patient and empathetic when dealing with people.

And, while I take my time to understand the people around me, I am inadvertently learning a great deal about myself too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s